Never did I think that I would a) like a song with the lyrics "lay me down on a bed of roses" or b) have my faith challenged by a country song, but The Band Perry's "If I Die Young" has gone and changed that. Figures.
I'm sure you can figure out the song's subject matter based upon the title. It's something I think about a lot, especially in terms of my faith. I'm very aware that I'm not guaranteed my next breath. In fact, I probably don't really deserve it. I thought a lot of mean thoughts today, you know.
Sometimes, in the shower, I get bold and dare God to deny me my next breath. Why I do it in the shower, I don't know. Probably because it's where I do my best thinking. Really, it would make more sense in bed, because when God's finally had it up to *here* with my little challenges and finally knocks the life out of me, it would much more pleasant for someone to find me in an eternal nap in my bed rather than soaking in an extended bubble bath.
Anyway, songs about death - now or later - are sure to get you thinking about the purpose of life and what you want to accomplish and how you want to be remembered. I'm 24, and if things go well, I've got about two more of these 24 year chunks left. I suppose that's a decent amount of time, but not when you start to think in terms of eternity. It's a flash, really.
What do we do with this flash we're given? What's our purpose?
Not to be a good person.
Not to have fun and enjoy life.
(But I believe these things will inherently happen as I glorify the Lord and live the gospel of Jesus Christ. I do.)
My faith in my salvation that comes from the cross and the cross alone should be reflected in every decision I make, every thought I entertain and every relationship I have.
And I struggle terribly with this.
Anyone who knows me knows that I am so easily attracted to the glitter of the world. The exotic places, the interesting people, the experiences I've had and want to have. I want to do it all and see it all. Trips are my currency - I convert dollars to plane tickets in my head. I'll sacrifice a few shopping trips here and if it means I'll gain a trip here or there. I spend too long dwelling on memories I've made and daydreaming about memories I'll make.
So somewhere along the way I convince myself that a passionate, whole-hearted attempt at a life serving the Lord will deny me of fully experiencing all that this world has to offer. I'm too immature and short-sighted to realize that not only will he allow me to experience life more fully, but that this just isn't as good as it gets. And praise God for that - we have something greater to anticipate.
Simply put, Christ is not a cosmic kill joy. He won't rob me of joy. It might not be joy on my terms, but nonetheless, it will be joy. Unfathomable joy.
God is good. He never lets me get my head too far into my own selfish pursuits before pulling me back towards him. Always in the strangest of ways, always at the most unexpected of times, always so appreciated. "If I Die Young" was His latest bait. And it won't be His last. In a few months, or even days, when I'm wandering once again, something small (or great) will come along and bring me back home, safe in his arms.
Until then, I will work to steer clear of the things that rob me of my love for my creator and continue to seek out things that stir my affections for Him: a good meal, a great conversation, a trip to the water. Anything that makes me feel small and humbled and in awe of His majesty.
God willing, I'll have more than 24 years. But if I don't, I pray my life reads not as a compilation of short stories that might be shared at my funeral and then forgotten; rather, an epic adventure that will last into eternity - one that will point people toward eternity themselves.
C. S. Lewis says it best:
“...it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
C. S. Lewis says it best:
“...it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered to us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
"Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither."
